Make No Room For Offense

by - 12:02 AM

Life is not void of offenses. Even if people are not doing anything against us, we may still be offended. However, it is our choice whether we let offense make its home into our soul. I think that most of us have the tendency to be offended because we fear other people's unspoken expectations. With this, fear starts to become the ground work for establishing pride. you see, we are most prideful when we are most fearful and insecure. And such pride houses offenses and despises trust. The most offended people are the most prideful and insecure ones.

Many people who have been offended by another person, organization or the church had chosen to sacrifice the friendship or the growing relationship in exchange for bitterness, anger, wrath, malice and a sense of self-justification. I have been offended for countless times where most of the time all I did was to overlook them if not to nurture them. However, too much overlooking of offenses and too much of nurturing them always harms a person.

When we just tend to overlook offenses, we steal from that person the opportunity to learn from his or her wrong actions, manner of speaking or mindset. And often times, unspoken hurts and pains pile up over time which causes massive outbreaks which might result to emotional barriers or physical violence. On the other hand, when we opt to nurture offenses, we deceive ourselves by making our assumptions towards the person a reality. It is like personally drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die.

So what should we do about these offenses?

 If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. - Matthew 18:15

Correct them. You are not against the person but against the offense. I am personally not that kind who is fond of correcting others and to be honest, it is one of my concerns because even if I know that something is wrong, I tend to stay passive in fear of what the other person might feel if I start to be blunt about things.

However, I have learned that correction is as important and that when we correct, it should always be out of love. There are two things that we can actually do when we correct :we can be critical towards others - always pointing out what's wrong and that he is an inconvenience to us or to correct the person with the most genuine intention in mind where we point out the wrong traits or actions to help that person become more mature because we see that persons potential.

Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.

Forgive them and ask forgiveness. The only way to counterattack pride is to do it with humility. Every correction and confrontation must always have the goal of reconciliation in mind. Offense destroys relationship and it is pride that feeds offense but if one will be humble enough to forgive and be forgiven, such faulty foundations of pride will crumble.

I am not an expert in this but as I have learned to put my pride down, I have seen myself becoming less bitter, less angry, less offended and more secured.

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